Your Guardian Angel

God, You've sent me one of Your guardian angel into my life. My life's better since i met him those old day. Yes he has changed my old life became better and better. Anyway, there are three kinds of changing someone. The first one is changing someone's to become better. The second one is changing someone's to become worse. The last is changing someone's to become what you want. But all of what he has done, made me change to become better and better person. Maybe too much memory that we've been through, or maybe i've loved him too much.

It's funny how could someone who didn't attractive to your eyes at the first time you two met become someone who has a lot meaning now. I don't care how many insults that they're giving to me, how many their way to make us be a part, i'm still loving him unaccountable. I'm still loving you, i just don't show it. I'm still missing you, but i just try to cover it. You're smart, cute, funny, and can always make smile. To me, you're perfect. One problem: Even maybe you're guardian angel that had been sent by Allah into my life, you're hers, not mine.

I miss our quality time, playing, sharing, discussing something, fighting like children, stare each other, our convo, our jokes, laugh, etc. No, I don't miss you. I miss who you used to be and what we had together. The new you is sucks. But, sometimes you gotta accept the fact that certain things will never go back to how they used to be.
                  
A million words can't bring you back, i know because i've tried. Neither will a million tears, i know because i've cried. Maybe i'm standing on there like an innocent stupid rocks, but i have got feelings too. I'm tired of getting lied to, tired of being used, tired of the society, tired of fake people, tired of pleasing everyone. You don't understand what is that feels to being me, Bin. You don't have to know the reason i cry or i drop out someone from my entire life. Remember this, someone change because of they have learnt too many or have been hurted too much.

The coolest man is who can prove or do what he has been saying. He called with gentle man. So be carefull with your words. You shouldn't say that, because you can't do and prove it. I shouldn't believe to what you said. I should know it from the start. But i was just too believe in you.

I'm sorry for my bad. Maybe i've said something bad about yours. But once more, i've been patient since countless time. You don't understand how is that feels being rejected, ignored, judged, libelled, shamed, etc. And you don't care about it, about me. You're better being far from me because of you hate me than you're being far from me because of she wants that f*cking shit. And do you know what? You didn't do anything to handle it and you're just sat there like an innocent blind man without brain, even you're genius.                  

There's "hell" in hello, "good" in goodbye, "lie" in believe, "over" in lover, "end" in friend, "ex" in next, and "if" in life. I believe in Allah that Allah will give me another chance or better life. Just prove it to me and help me to forget this pain, ya Allah. When we pray, God hears more than we say, answers more than we ask, gives more than we imagine in HIS own time & HIS own way. Because disappointments are just God's way of saying: "I've got something better" Be patient, live life, have faith.
          
I can't lose you. Because i ever did, i'd have lost my best friend, my soul mate, my smile, my laugh, my everything. And you came back again, fixed me once more like you had ever done. It's hard to completely stop loving someone after so much time has been invested. It hurts so much to just give it all up. It's so hard to forget someone that you shared so many memories with, Bin.