Satu Kekurangan Wanita

Tangannya terdiri dari dua ratus bagian yang bisa digerakkan dan berfungsi baik untuk segala jenis makanan. Mampu menjaga banyak anak saat yang bersamaan. Punya pelukan yang dapat menyembuhkan sakit hati dan keterpurukan. Atas izin-Nya, ia juga bisa menyembuhkan dirinya sendiri.

Ia mampu bekerja 18 jam per-hari. Allah SWT menciptakannya dengan lembut. Dan di balik kelembutannya itu tersimpan kekuatan besar yang dapat mengatasi banyak hal luar biasa. Meski terkadang ia terlihat rapuh, namun sejatinya itu bukanlah kerapuhan, melainkan airmata.

Air mata menjadi salah satu caranya untuk mengeskpresikan kegembiraan, kegalauan, cinta, kesepian, dan kebanggaan. Ia dapat mengatasi beban, bahkan melebihi laki-laki. Ia mampu menyimpan kebahagiaan dan pendapatnya sendiri.

Ia mampu tersenyum bahkan saat hatinya menjerit. Ia mampu bernyanyi saat menangis, menangis saat terharu, bahkan tertawa saat ketakutan. Ia berkorban demi orang yang dicintainya. Mampu berdiri melawan ketidakadilan. Ia menerjunkan dirinya untuk keluarganya.

Ia membawa temannya yang sakit untuk berobat. Cintanya tanpa syarat. Ia menangis saat melihat anaknya menjadi pemenang. Ia girang dan bersorak saat kawannnya tertawa. Ia begitu bahagia mendengar kelahiran. Hatinya begitu sedih mendengar berita sakit dan kematian.

Tetapi ia selalu mempunyai kekuatan untuk mengatasi hidup. Namun, ada satu hal yang menjadi kukurangannya, yaitu seringkali lupa betapa berharganya ia. Subhanallah.

 

Repost from  http://www.islampos.com/wanita-hanya-satu-kekurangannya-126377/

The Strange One

I'm sorry if i'm the strange one. Sometimes i made a distance or like no talking.
Sometimes maybe you think you don't need me by your side. Like if i'm gone, it's okay.
Maybe it's my problem. I think i always care too much even i don't show it at all.
And maybe i'm the most strange person you all ever met.
You know when i'm happy i don't say it. I just acted a little bit different like i like it.
When i'm sad, upset, afraid or anything kind of that, i never show it. I always do that things.
I didn't expect anybody mention it or asking me what's wrong with me. 
But at last i just hope they don't leave me behind. 
When they need me, i always try my best for them. But even i was kind of drowned, no one knew it.
But you know... Maybe i love them that much or care too much... 
But even they're sad, i could knew it just by looking at their eyes. 
I hope i could have a better life. Because all i do is just trying to hang on, and try my best. I will not make my mom upset and i will make my bright success happily future life. 
But sometimes i feel like tired... so much.

A Little Story

Hello... It's been long time i haven't published something on this blog. I did make some post actually, but i haven't finished it yet or i didn't want to publish it. I lost my inspiration anyway, so i couldn't make another post like before.

The last time i published a post, i was in high school. But now, i've been studying in collage since 5 months ago. I'm part of Faculty of Law in Jendral Soedirman Univesity. Alhamdulillah, thank so much to Allah, i could be part of it by passed SNMPTN 2013. And now i'm in second semester. Wish me luck! I know Allah Always with me and Allah will help me through all of this. InsyaAllah i'm on Allah's way to make my dreams come true, aamiin aamiin aamiin Ya Rabbal alamin.👼

 

This time i want to share you something. It's one of my favorite anime. The title is "Kaichou wa Maid-sama". It's kind of shoujo, or we can call it kind of romance/drama genre. This anime is tell us about a life of normal student in high school that majority of boys. There's a girl named Ayuzawa Misaki, and a boy named Takumi Usui. Misaki is a student representative council that hate boys, strong, kind, pure, caring, etc. Even though she hates boys, she loves everybody in her school. All she wants just make sure everything's great.

Usui is a boy that hardly fall for a girl. He's handsome, smart, protecter, great in sport, etc. But someday, he meets Misaki in a maid cafe and find her work at there. Misaki's part time job must be a secret. That's the beginning of their beautiful story. You have to watch it by your self, then you'll feel like 'omg... i hope my boyfriend could be that so much nice like usui' or 'omg i hope i will find a good man like usui soon', trust me... Usui Takumi is the perfect character that every girl wants in this world. At the end of the story (not the movie), Usui go to England being a Doctor, and meets Misaki once more in England as An Ambassador of England. Yes, when they're going to collage, they have to be separated by distance of country. Misaki studies at collage in Japan and Usui studies at collage in England. But at last and least, they meet again and love will find a way. This is just a story. But everyone wants to have happy ending in their life. Right?😊

You know... I've met a guy, good or maybe great guy in my life (now i'm 18). He was almost as the same as Usui, and i was Misaki in that story. Not about the position i mean, just 'their story' (you'll understand if you're friend of mine and know my story) and how the story going. But the end of our story is different. He didn't try so much hard as Usui. Misaki can't tell her feelings, but Usui has his plan to make sure her tell what's on her mind. Because Usui wants to hear everything in her mind & heart. Like i said, you'll know when you watch this anime. This anime is sooo damn cute sweet. You'll love it. Enjoy! 😄

I'm sorry if there's so much wrong tenses or vocab, i haven't done this for long time, remember? 😜
Wish me will find my inspiration again, so i could publish many post like before, aamin. 👼

Pretending

Hey you there. How are you? Where are you? What are you doing?
Today i made an account of a application and use it for my things. Then i found your older sister's account. I opened it and i found your photos there. What a cute photos of you three. I love it!

Then i found an account of a girl who likes you. I scrolled it down and i found a photo that made me remember all the s*ck thing had ever happened at that time. My friend who likes you, lied to me. You two did lie to me. Then i felt like mad at you for a while. But i know it has been passed.

Suddenly i feel like different. Bad different in me.
I'm good at pretending. Also good at hiding my feelings.
Maybe i could act like i don't care and walk pass you without looking at you or smiling at you. But all you have to know is i'm dying inside.

Did you think i hate you? You're wrong. Did you think i don't want to talk to you anymore? You're wrong again. Did you think i wanna replace you? You're absolutely wrong. Did you think i mad at you? You're almost right. Did you think you make me disappointed? Yes, you're right.

Do you know it always hurt me?
The truth… No, i can't do it. And never can be. You will never understand how i can do that ⎯Pretending⎯ for all this time. Maybe sometimes i feel like wanna give up. But then i always remember my reason is why do i holding on for the long time.

But there's time i can't resist that feeling anymore. And i son't care if you don't feel the way i do. I admit it, i miss you so badly.
I feel like want to run up to you, hug you and never let you go.

A Part of Someone

My Dearest, You.                                                            11 April 2013

Hai you there! how are you? I hope you are well. I hope you are happy. I hope you read this letter from me.

I really miss you so much, Dylan. I miss our old times. But...

Maybe when you are reading this letter, i've been in some place where so far from here. I don't know how to say goodbye to you. It because i can't do that. But i don't know which i have to follow. Is it my heart or my mind to follow? I feel like i can't through this sickness alone anymore. I know i shouldn't stop fighting. But a ship which i use for wade this storm start to under control. Would you send me Peter pan or maybe Tinker bell to help me drive this ship? I think so. You even don't know where i am. Maybe you don't care.

I saw you already have everything you want and everything you need.

You should thankful to Allah for all of it. I do happy too see you happy there. But i can't resist, there's a part of me which feel like missing something. Something that so much important.

"Day by day, Week by week, month by month, years by years i've been through that fight.

I won't stop here," i said. But then my mind whispered me "Don't you tired?"

"No. I just feel a little sad, sometimes. I won't lose what i've been fighting for," i replied my mind.

"So, go then," my mind said.

Then i have question which belong to you. If only i'm gone from your life, it will be alright for you. Won't it? I think my attendance isn't needed by you anymore, Dylan. You've got everything you want, and also everything you need like i've said before. And i am nothing. Maybe you don't need me anymore. And i think it will make your life easier, because you'll get the problem less.

But i can't say goodbye to you. I don't want it. But my mind is true. My attendance isn't needed by you anymore. It has no mean anymore, hasn't it? 

I want to stay close to you, no matter what, because I love you. Maybe my mind think so. But my heart always stay still. But... Our time is short. If only you could know the things i long to say. If only i could tell you what i wish i could convey. You mean more to me than anything in this whole world.

I feel like you're a half part of me. l feel like want to run up to you, hug you and never let you go. But maybe it will be the last hug before i'm gone to some places where you can't find me.

Thank you for everything you've gave to me. I'm sorry for all my mistakes. Maybe i've made too much distrub your lifetime. But every second which i passed with you is something that i'll be appreciated forever. Everything really precious and valuable for me. Nothing can replace it. And nobody can replace you.

They say when someone else's happiness is your happiness, that is love. Maybe they're right. I love you so much, whether it's wrong or right. You put my soul from worst to best, that is why I treasure you my dearest. You always be the reason i smile everyday. You always be in my heart, no matter what. Always. ♥

                                  Your...Whatever.

He didn't need to guessing who wrote that letter. He already know.

He takes his handphone and try to call her so many times. But he doesn't get any answer.

He sents her messages, but he doesn't get any reply. 

That letter was made at April 11th, and It's 19th. He takes 8 days to read her letter although he had have that letter since 7 days ago. 

Then he ride his motorcycle to her house as fast as he can. But then, that house which she should live there is empty. He start to lose his hope. But who knows Allah will give him a chance?

Someone is walking in front of that house which has big tree and asking him what is he doing there.

"I'm looking for a lady who life in there, mam. But i think i lost her. Do you know where this family go?" he answered.

"Oh, I'm sorry son. I think a lady who you looking for has been in airport. She has been sick since 2 months ago. Her family took her to some place so far there. They said they will take her to California. Maybe if you ride your motorcycle to go there now, you have a chance find her before her plane take off," that woman said.

He don't need to think twice for go to the airport and meet a lady who wrote that letter. He ride his motorcycle as fast as he can to the airport. It takes 20 minutes for him to arrives there. He looking for her to every places which has a direction about 'California'. But he can't find her. He almost lose his  hope again, until he saw someone who brown eyed & long wavy haired, standing not far from him. They see each other eyes, but no words spread out from their mouth.

"What are you doing here?" she asked with no emotion in her face.

"I think i will never see you again. I think i will lost you forever," he can't resist that happy & blessing feeling at that time. He just say what in his mind that time.

"Maybe you has a chance. Maybe Allah give us another little chance," she said with a sincere little smile.

We Shouldn't Have to be Like This Way...

I know i'm nobody for you. Not even your best friend or friend. I'm just feel like it's not fair. I shouldn't be angry or sad if you want this complicated situation. For me, this's so much complicated. Maybe you don't care about all this things. But i want to ask to you, if you really mean to push me away from your life, why don't you do that from last year? Wait for the right time? Don't make a joke, dear. If you didn't find 'the right' time, why it must be now? Why do you leave when you have 'the new things' in your life? It's look like you say iam a thing has no mean that must be throw to the trash. Yes, you replaced me.
 
I don't mind if you have 1 hundred millions new friend. Because i thought you won't go away with them. I thought that you won't believe in them so easily like now. I thought that you will still listen to me than listen to them. Come on, isn't it a big joke if you push away someone who had been known by you for long times from your life and replace them with the new one who had been known by you for 2 months? I don't care what you actually really mean from all of this. But i do feel like this. I don't think that i did something wrong, or hurt you. But you're just left me like you're just knew me for months or like i did something really wrong, without clear reasons. All that i knew is your new best friend called me 'your problem' right? ^^
If you feel so, why don't you tell me or say it from the first time you felt it? And now think the opposite, if you don't feel i'm not 'your problem', why did you not deny her words about me?

I'm just feel this's not fair. I knew you far from before they knew you. But why do i must the one left?
I know they want (just call her Z) you to know Z more well. Because i lied to you. I know Z like you from last year. I just said 'i don't know if Z like him' in the recording. Do you remember what i said in the recording that i gave to you?
I won't broke their plans. I won't touch their plans. Even i didn't distrub you when you played, chatted, shared or else with them. Even we almost didn't have any conversation in a day. Don't you know my feelings? It's sad to see you happy cause of anyone else and forgetting me. But it's more sad to know you're not happy with me. Then i never said protest or expressed my feeling to you. Because i saw you happier there with them than with me. It's okay. I'm okay.

But how stupid iam, i thought that i could always count on you. I thought that nothing could come between us two. And now, you broke me down again. It's really sad to watch & know you leave. But it's more hurt me to know that you're more listen to your new best friend than listen to me anymore, it's more hurt me to know you don't believe in me anymore and you're just so easily believe in them.
However (maybe) you say they're not one of many reasons you leave, i still believe they're one of in it. I've known what they did, what they want, what they're talked about me behind me.

Are they there when you need them?
Do they help you even you don't ask for it?
Do they know you more well than i do?
Are they be a rock in that cliff when you're ready to fall down?
Do you share your new favorite songs to them too?
Do you tell your fams story to them too?
Do you tell them too what you're dreaming in the future?
Do they see you when you're invisible?
Imagining this, if you're not clever, kind, charmingly or fun like you are now, what will happen?

Years ago, i don't even know an unique clever person would be someone i know well. I never know how much fun to be your friend. I didn't know i would so much feel comfort to be your side. I didn't know i don't need to be somebody else to be in your world. And you're keep me up even i was so stupid in a subject. I didn't need to be shy or somebody else. Because you accept me the way iam. And i did accept you the way you are too. Yeah, it was ever be so much great times ago.
Don't you appreciate every times that we've been through? :')
Like i said. If you don't wan't me into your life, why don't you push me from times ago?

We shouldn't have to be like this way. But the new you sucks. The new you want it.
I do miss you a lot. But i know you will not care of it. You don't want to know about it.
That's why i keep on my silent and act like don't care. Because you don't care if you have hurted me.
Because i know you'll not make it be alright again. You say you want this way...

Yeah i never can explain what i really feel is. So this's a little pieces what's on my mind & heart about this things.

I count the ways you let me down. On my fingers and toes but i'm running out. Clever words can't help me now. I grip you tight but you're slipping out.
And I remember your eyes were so bright. When we first texting, so in love that night~
And now i'm missing you so much and so right, And I can't take it, you're still perfect till that now...

But i know this isn't goodbye, even as i watch you leave, this isn't goodbye.
Even as tears fill my eyes, i swear i won't cry... :') - Westlife

Celotehan Hati

Bunda, anganku sangat tinggi, mencapai jagat raya. Bermimpi dapat menjunjung hak-hak setiap makhlukNya yang menapakkan kaki di muka bumi ini. Di awali mirisnya pemandangan yang kulihat di kaca kendaraan roda empat yang ku tumpangi. Kaki-kaki tanpa alas itu berjalan di aspal panas mencari hal-hal yang dapat di ubahnya menjadi koin-koin emas. Satu-satunya pakaian lusuh yang mereka kenakan tak layak lagi melindungi diri mereka, terutama ketika sang rembulan dan bintang-bintang unjuk gigi di langit kelam.

Berganti terus berganti orang-orang berpangkat yang duduk di kursi-kursi kebanggaan mereka. Tidakkah mereka tergugah hatinya?

Bukan. Bukan untuk menolong mereka. Terkadang memberi beberapa kepingan saja mungkin mereka lupa. Tidak ada yang berubah. Nasib mereka masih sama. Kelaparan, kepanasan, kedinginan, tidur di pinggir jalan-jalan besar kota metropolitan kita.

Bunda, bukankah anganku terlalu tinggi? Akankah aku bisa meraihnya?

Apakah aku bisa menjadi bagian dari calon-calon yang akan merubah nasib 'mereka'?

Atau, akankah aku dapat menerima tanggung jawab yang nanti akan di serahkan padaku?

Bagaimana jika aku salah? Bagaimana jika aku tidak cukup kuat untuk sekedar mencapainya?

Bagaimana jika kepercayaanku goyah di tengah perjalanan dan aku tak sempat meraihnya?

Aku takut. Aku kalut. Aku berperang dengan diriku sendiri. Aku ingin percaya pada mimpiku. Ingin rasanya memantapkan hasratku. Tapi di tengah jembatan gantung ini, aku sendirian. Modalku hanya kepercayaanku pada Allah, sedikit kepercayaan pada diriku & mimpiku, kedua kakiku untuk menapak, 2 utas tali yang menjadi pegangan di sisi kanan dan kiriku, dan... di atas jembatan gantung ini, aku masih sendirian.

Angin terus menerpaku. Menusuk kulitku. Tubuhku bergidik bersamaan goyangan jembatan gantung ini. Dan aku, masih sendiri.

Aku harus membuat keputusan besar. Mengejar mimpiku kemudian melupakan hidup dan bahagiaku, atau mencoba meraih mimpi dan bahagiaku tanpa melupakan hidupku? Tidak. Tidak semudah kalimat-kalimat itu. Tentu kalian yang membaca tulisan tak berbobot ini akan memilih pilihan kedua, jika menjadi aku. Kita kembali lagi ke 2 paragraf sebelumnya.

Aku takut. Ya, aku takut aku tidak siap. Aku takut aku tidak mampu. Siapa yang akan membangunkan aku nanti kalau aku jatuh, jika aku jauh dari kedua kesatriaku?

Bahkan, disaat seperti ini, aku sendirian. Aku belum sampai hingga bagian tengah jembatan ini.

Aku butuh pelukan yang menenangkan, Bun. Aku butuh air mataku keluar sambil meluapkan ketakutanku agar terasa terbebas dari jeratan ini. Aku butuh semangat dan dukungan. Aku butuh kepercayaan.

Tapi, belum. Aku sama sekali belum menemukan hal-hal itu. Bahkan rasanya setiap detik, ada saja yang membuat beban pikiran dan hati ini makin berat.

Di depan, jembatan gantung ini terbelah dua jalur. Pilihan-pilihanku. Pilihan mana yang pantas dan patut aku perjuangkan? Kemanakah aku harus melangkahkan kakiku, ya Allah?