I know i'm nobody for you. Not even your best friend or friend. I'm just feel like it's not fair. I shouldn't be angry or sad if you want this complicated situation. For me, this's so much complicated. Maybe you don't care about all this things. But i want to ask to you, if you really mean to push me away from your life, why don't you do that from last year? Wait for the right time? Don't make a joke, dear. If you didn't find 'the right' time, why it must be now? Why do you leave when you have 'the new things' in your life? It's look like you say iam a thing has no mean that must be throw to the trash. Yes, you replaced me.
I don't mind if you have 1 hundred millions new friend. Because i thought you won't go away with them. I thought that you won't believe in them so easily like now. I thought that you will still listen to me than listen to them. Come on, isn't it a big joke if you push away someone who had been known by you for long times from your life and replace them with the new one who had been known by you for 2 months? I don't care what you actually really mean from all of this. But i do feel like this. I don't think that i did something wrong, or hurt you. But you're just left me like you're just knew me for months or like i did something really wrong, without clear reasons. All that i knew is your new best friend called me 'your problem' right? ^^
If you feel so, why don't you tell me or say it from the first time you felt it? And now think the opposite, if you don't feel i'm not 'your problem', why did you not deny her words about me?
I'm just feel this's not fair. I knew you far from before they knew you. But why do i must the one left?
I know they want (just call her Z) you to know Z more well. Because i lied to you. I know Z like you from last year. I just said 'i don't know if Z like him' in the recording. Do you remember what i said in the recording that i gave to you?
I won't broke their plans. I won't touch their plans. Even i didn't distrub you when you played, chatted, shared or else with them. Even we almost didn't have any conversation in a day. Don't you know my feelings? It's sad to see you happy cause of anyone else and forgetting me. But it's more sad to know you're not happy with me. Then i never said protest or expressed my feeling to you. Because i saw you happier there with them than with me. It's okay. I'm okay.
But how stupid iam, i thought that i could always count on you. I thought that nothing could come between us two. And now, you broke me down again. It's really sad to watch & know you leave. But it's more hurt me to know that you're more listen to your new best friend than listen to me anymore, it's more hurt me to know you don't believe in me anymore and you're just so easily believe in them.
However (maybe) you say they're not one of many reasons you leave, i still believe they're one of in it. I've known what they did, what they want, what they're talked about me behind me.
Are they there when you need them?
Do they help you even you don't ask for it?
Do they know you more well than i do?
Are they be a rock in that cliff when you're ready to fall down?
Do you share your new favorite songs to them too?
Do you tell your fams story to them too?
Do you tell them too what you're dreaming in the future?
Do they see you when you're invisible?
Imagining this, if you're not clever, kind, charmingly or fun like you are now, what will happen?
Years ago, i don't even know an unique clever person would be someone i know well. I never know how much fun to be your friend. I didn't know i would so much feel comfort to be your side. I didn't know i don't need to be somebody else to be in your world. And you're keep me up even i was so stupid in a subject. I didn't need to be shy or somebody else. Because you accept me the way iam. And i did accept you the way you are too. Yeah, it was ever be so much great times ago.
Don't you appreciate every times that we've been through? :')
Like i said. If you don't wan't me into your life, why don't you push me from times ago?
We shouldn't have to be like this way. But the new you sucks. The new you want it.
I do miss you a lot. But i know you will not care of it. You don't want to know about it.
That's why i keep on my silent and act like don't care. Because you don't care if you have hurted me.
Because i know you'll not make it be alright again. You say you want this way...
Yeah i never can explain what i really feel is. So this's a little pieces what's on my mind & heart about this things.
I count the ways you let me down. On my fingers and toes but i'm running out. Clever words can't help me now. I grip you tight but you're slipping out.
And I remember your eyes were so bright. When we first texting, so in love that night~
And now i'm missing you so much and so right, And I can't take it, you're still perfect till that now...
But i know this isn't goodbye, even as i watch you leave, this isn't goodbye.
Even as tears fill my eyes, i swear i won't cry... :') - Westlife
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