Motivation

I had done stupid things 1 year ago. And i dont want to do the same thing anymore. If only i could start all over and take things back somehow. If i could get it right at first time, i never had to made mistake.

If only you think with your heart and then you never have to say 'if only'. I'll keep this quote into my life. And although i have fallen to the worst part, i won't show i was crying. Because my sister said, when you're crying, no one understand you. They're just feel poor of you and make they assume that you're weak. You have to know something, you're not weak as them (who were made you cry). Just show them your prettiest smile and say you can through your problem. And the one who said "i know you're not. It will be better if we through it together." is your True Friend! Because i assume that true friend who is never let you through your problem by your self.

Honey, chance is coming twice, thrice, maybe five times. But believe me, nobody will so damn stupid to give another chance to a person who don't deserve it and don't learn anything from their mistakes. It's useless and only wasting time.

So, believe that if we still want to learn from our mistakes, there're still a chance for us. But if we have learn from it but it hasn't come yet, It must be wait for the right time! Or the best thing is Allah has better plan for us!☺

Dear, trust is like a paper. Once it crumble, it can't be perfect. Maybe we forgive a liar, but we never ever forget it, right?

A Liar will not be believed, even when they speak the truth. So don't be fooled. A liar is a liar. A snake is still a snake even it has been molt. Maybe not now, but someday, they will do the same thing again to you. Believe it, it has been happened to me. 

No one realizes they're being fooled because they're too busy laughing at the fool.

No one realizes what they do when they're chasing what they want. Don't be fool, we're human. Not animal at all! Think about it. What you want is different with what you need, dear. When you chase what you want, you'll forget, even don't know what you need. You'll miss it when you lose it, darl!

Ya Allah, if i lose my hopes today, remember me that your plans are better, bigger, brighter than my dreams. Help me to faced up that pain and sorrow. Send me Your guardian angel to make me stronger. Ya Allah, i love you! {♥}

Remember this, besides every bad situation, there always have many lessons and we must learn from it! And if you think the situation isn't like the must be or you want, believe that Allah planning BETTER situation for us♥.

Anything i do, anything i say, i'm sorry, i love you too much. I just have one heart and it have been filled only by you♥.

Because spaces between my fingers are where YOU fit perfectly!♥☺

I have suggest that speak 6 lines to YOUR SELF every morning: 1) Bismillahirrohmanirrohim. 2) Iam the best. 3) I can do it. 4) Allah is always with me. 5) Iam a winner. 6) Today is my day :D

Thankyou Allah,that you give me so many experience to learn, so You've made me stronger when i was going through tough times in my life. And in the end, You always make everythings okay.

Oh yeah, just for remember, i wrote this post especially for my self. But if this usefull to you, dearest reader, i will be so glad! Every sentences which written on this are mine. And always remember that NO PLAGIARISM! ☺

Siamra☺

Your Guardian Angel

God, You've sent me one of Your guardian angel into my life. My life's better since i met him those old day. Yes he has changed my old life became better and better. Anyway, there are three kinds of changing someone. The first one is changing someone's to become better. The second one is changing someone's to become worse. The last is changing someone's to become what you want. But all of what he has done, made me change to become better and better person. Maybe too much memory that we've been through, or maybe i've loved him too much.

It's funny how could someone who didn't attractive to your eyes at the first time you two met become someone who has a lot meaning now. I don't care how many insults that they're giving to me, how many their way to make us be a part, i'm still loving him unaccountable. I'm still loving you, i just don't show it. I'm still missing you, but i just try to cover it. You're smart, cute, funny, and can always make smile. To me, you're perfect. One problem: Even maybe you're guardian angel that had been sent by Allah into my life, you're hers, not mine.

I miss our quality time, playing, sharing, discussing something, fighting like children, stare each other, our convo, our jokes, laugh, etc. No, I don't miss you. I miss who you used to be and what we had together. The new you is sucks. But, sometimes you gotta accept the fact that certain things will never go back to how they used to be.
                  
A million words can't bring you back, i know because i've tried. Neither will a million tears, i know because i've cried. Maybe i'm standing on there like an innocent stupid rocks, but i have got feelings too. I'm tired of getting lied to, tired of being used, tired of the society, tired of fake people, tired of pleasing everyone. You don't understand what is that feels to being me, Bin. You don't have to know the reason i cry or i drop out someone from my entire life. Remember this, someone change because of they have learnt too many or have been hurted too much.

The coolest man is who can prove or do what he has been saying. He called with gentle man. So be carefull with your words. You shouldn't say that, because you can't do and prove it. I shouldn't believe to what you said. I should know it from the start. But i was just too believe in you.

I'm sorry for my bad. Maybe i've said something bad about yours. But once more, i've been patient since countless time. You don't understand how is that feels being rejected, ignored, judged, libelled, shamed, etc. And you don't care about it, about me. You're better being far from me because of you hate me than you're being far from me because of she wants that f*cking shit. And do you know what? You didn't do anything to handle it and you're just sat there like an innocent blind man without brain, even you're genius.                  

There's "hell" in hello, "good" in goodbye, "lie" in believe, "over" in lover, "end" in friend, "ex" in next, and "if" in life. I believe in Allah that Allah will give me another chance or better life. Just prove it to me and help me to forget this pain, ya Allah. When we pray, God hears more than we say, answers more than we ask, gives more than we imagine in HIS own time & HIS own way. Because disappointments are just God's way of saying: "I've got something better" Be patient, live life, have faith.
          
I can't lose you. Because i ever did, i'd have lost my best friend, my soul mate, my smile, my laugh, my everything. And you came back again, fixed me once more like you had ever done. It's hard to completely stop loving someone after so much time has been invested. It hurts so much to just give it all up. It's so hard to forget someone that you shared so many memories with, Bin.

Siluet Senja

Gundah bukan lagi kata yang cukup tepat mendeskripsikan suasana hati

Sedih bukan lagi hal asing yang terpatri manis setiap hari

Manis rasanya mengingat dulu duduk di tepian

Melihat senja datang menyapa langit yang temaram.

Masih dapat aku rasakan nyaman, kerap kali buih-buih air itu menyentuh permukaan kulitku

Masih teringat jelas bagaimana cantiknya pemandangan yang disuguhkan oleh tempat itu

Sungguh penyelamat hidupku.

Terdiam dalam hembusan angin yang membelai tiap helaian rambutku

Larut dalam suara ombak yang menghantam karang-karang indah rumah penghuni bawah laut

Tenggelam dalam suasana yang menawarkan ketenangan batin yang tidak dapat di deskripsikan.

Tiba-tiba terselip sebuah siluet-siluet akan nama dan memori

menghempaskan diri jatuh hingga terbang

membangun jiwa yang tak tenang

terlalu manis untuk di ceritakan, bukan berarti tidak ada sakit telah tercipta.

Bagaimana rasanya wahai karang?

Apakah bahagiamu karena tidak lagi terhantam ombak?

Atau sedihmu karena jauh dari tempatmu seharusnya berada?

Seperti bergantung pada takdir

Yang memaksa batin menyerah walau tak ingin

Terlihat samar-samar senyum yang tak sehangat dahulu

Senyum yang selalu menjadi alasan bahagia terlukis di wajah ini.

Bukan tak semanis dulu

Paras itu tidak pernah merubah nilai tambah pesonanya

Hanya saja ada rasa hangat yang hilang dari kilatan mata itu

Si pemilik atmosfer terkuat yang ada dalam hidupanku.

Namun aku tidak lagi dapat duduk manis memainkan buih-buih air laut yang menyelipkan pasir-pasir halus di sela-sela jemariku

Aku tidak sadar bahwa satu-satunya tempat yang menjadi tambatan hati ini telah tertutup

Dan kata tertutup pun kian lama sekiranya akan berubah menjadi 'ditutup'.

Tak ada lagi tongkat-tongkat kecil tergeletak tak bernyawa ku ambil dan kumpulkan

Ku gunakan untuk menulis

Menulis nama pada sang pasir

Mencurahkan cita, keinginan, mimpi dan perasaan di sana

Namun, seperti kata pepatah...

Apabila kamu menulis pada sang pasir pantai, cepat atau lambat akan terhapus oleh air laut yang iri ingin ikut bermain.

Rasanya jauh

Semakin tak terjangkau sosok itu

Ia terus berjalan

Tegap dan tegas tak menoleh ke belakang.

Aku termangu dalam diamku

Terjebak akan hal manis dan pahit yang terus mengalir meresume memoriku

Gulatan emosi bercampur tak tertahankan

Tak bersuara, tak bergerak, namun tetap bernyawa

Perlahan tapi pasti, tetes demi tetes jatuh mengalir di pipi

Tersenym kecut dan mencaci diri sendiri.

Rasanya sedih tidak dapat kembali ke pangkuan

Seperti melihat orang yang kau sayangi kehilangan pengheliatannya karenamu

Rasanya sakit tidak karuan

Seperti harus merelakan kelinci putih yang telah kau sayang, rawat, jaga dan lindungi bertahun-tahun untuk pergi darimu

Rasanya hancur tanpa kata

Saat diam adalah satu-satunya pilihan yang diwajibkan untuk di pilih.

Sayang, semanis-manisnya cup cakes yang kamu makan, akan menjadi hambar bila sudah di buang. Apabila kamu tidak bisa melakukan apa yang kamu ucapkan, lebih baik tidak mengucapkan suatu hal yang dapat 'di pegang'.

Aku menunggu

Entah menunggu pantai itu untuk di buka, atau kapan akan di tutup

Aku berdiri berhari-hari, berminggu-minggu, berbulan-bulan, terus sampai tidak dapat berdiri lagi.

Tapi sayang, sosok ini hanyalah setangkai bunga tepi pantai. Setia menanti kalau saja kupu-kupu itu akan hinggap, melepas lelahnya sambil menikmati manis madu itu. Ia tahu akan tiba waktunya madu itu habis dan kupu-kupu itu akan meninggalkannya. Saat itu terjadi, tidak ada yang bisa ia lakukan. “Aku tidak mungkin menghancurkan sayapnya hanya untuk membuatnya tetap di samping ku,” ucapnya.

Yang tersisa baginya hanyalah bertahan. Menjaga dirinya agar tak layu dan mempersiapkan madu termanisnya hingga waktunya tiba. Waktu dimana kupu-kupu itu datang kembali ke peraduannya. Meski ia tidak tahu kapan, atau bahkan akan.

Bau khas air laut menyelinap masuk indera penciumanku

Mentari yang terik itu perlahan bergerak manuju barat

Digantikan senja yang menawarkan segala hal manis yang tak dapat ku tolak

Senja yang takkan bisa ku lupakan

Yang selalu ku nanti hangat dan damainya

Senja yang menyimpan semua curahku

Senja manis yang sudah sulit tersentuh

Dipaksa dan harus kehilangan itu memang tidak dapat dipungkiri pilunya

Aku rindu senja itu

Senja yang sudah lama tak terlihat hati meski tergapai mata

Senja tempat nyata, mimpi dan lamunanku.

          Sometimes what's real is something you can't see